Facebook Users Taxonomy

Yesterday on FM there was a discussion on a very interesting topic“different types of FB users”. I couldn’t agree more on the typical categorizations. There  are plenty categories but I am describing a few conventional ones that I loved:

Ø  Mr. or Ms Popular (Mujh Se Dosti Karoge): You can only qualify to be in this category if the number of your friends exceed a minimum of 4237. J  These are persons who have seems to have the whole world for their friends. Friends envy thinking “Usme aisi kya baat hai, Jo mujh mei nehi?”  

Ø  The Prowler (Chupke Chupke): This is another standard user who reads everything on FB but will never ever post, comment or like. I wonder why this silent visits. 

Ø  The Chuckler (Hastey Hastey Kat Jaaye Raste): The tendency here is just read and post LOL’s or LMFAO’s at everything. Probably believes that laughter is the best medicine. 

Ø  The Rooster( Subah Ho Gayi Maamu):  Greets everyone with “Good Morning” posts each and every day.

Ø  The Gamer (Khiladi No 1): Playing any damn game  "Farmville", "Words with Friends", "Mafia Wars", "Cityville" is his fixture.

Ø  The Promoter (Protsahak): Motto of his life seems to be inviting everyone to events, which invariably the others will ignore or delete. Their wall usually consists of them promoting their product, service or business.

Ø  The Contributor (Gyan Baatna):  This user’s contribution is enormous. The user religiously thinks it’s his duty to share any post he finds.

Ø  The Burglar (Chori Chori): Robs any updates and post it on his wall.

Ø  The Drama King/ Queen (Natak):  Emoting melodramatic expressions like (OMG!!!!!!!!).Making a sensation out of every thing (Nehi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Ø  The Reporter (Aaj Ke Samaachar): Publicizing what they are doing and with whom irrespective of how immaterial it is.

Ø  The Liker (Pasand Apni Apni): Compulsorily thinks that the “like” button in every post has to be clicked.

Ø  The Jobless (Bekaar): Updates, Likes, Shares, Posts at every possible chance.

Ø  The Proud Parent(Mera Beta Mahaan): Spends most of the time talking and posting pictures of the apple of their eye. Dotingly posts photos of awards and certificates on their walls.

Ø  The Morose (Dukhi Maan Mere): Is always sad and hates their life and everything. All their status updates are damn serious.

Ø  The Romantic (Dil to Pagal Hai): This starry eyed user makes all mushy posts  and shares dreamy quotes.

Ø  The Music Lover(Sangeet Samrat): This music fan quotes lyrics, trivia’s and shares music videos all day long congesting the wall.

Ø  The News Guru (Samachar Prasarak): Always reads and posts news stories and articles and lets everyone know what’s happening in the world.

Ø  The Holy (Pavitra Sadhoo): The primary focus of this user is to spread spirituality. Their timeline is usually filled with saintly quotes, divine scriptures and religious testimonies.

Ø  The Addict(Nashedi): They eat, sleep and breathe Facebook.  They excessively update their status and keep checking expectantly if there are any messages or updates.

Ø  The Well Balanced (Santulit): This Facebook user is very well-rounded. They log on when the spirit hits them for some fun and to interact with friends. They post a few pictures here and there, but never seem to over indulge.

     Before I end I would like to mention a special category The Ignorant" (Bhagwan ke liye Mujhe chod do)  refering to people who donot have am FB profile. The predictable and classic representation made it a lot of fun for listing. The different factions of the Facebook society is  assorted and with sheer amusement I end this post.